Love (A Short Story of first kiss, first love, and inner peace)

I wrote this a while ago, and have decided to finally post it. I've been reading and rereading it since I wrote it months and months ago (actually it's probably been about 4-6 months now), and have decided that it's good enough to post, in fact considering I haven't experienced any of the things I talk about (love, first kiss, complete and total feeling that all is right with the world) in this I'd say I fake my way through it pretty well.

so, here it is. It's called "Love (A Short Story of First Kiss, First Love, and Inner Peace)"

I turn the corner and there she is. Her face like a Goddess. No, not like a goddess, she is a goddess. Her perfect brown curls trailing off her face like shaves of the darkest chocolate you could imagine.
And then she smiles at me.
Her teeth are as perfect as you could imagine, two rows of the whitest pearls I’ve ever seen, like the bones of skeletons on Halloween her teeth glimmer back at me.
She runs up and hugs me.
Why do I deserve this? Why was I given a goddess? The very definition of beauty is standing in front of me. She wants me. And I can’t even imagine, in my wildest dreams, a girl half as beautiful wanting to spend a single second with me.
She opens her mouth to speak. Rattling off theories of Nietzsche and Socrates, her voice is perfect. Her intelligence matches her beauty, if it were physically possible, I would say surpasses, but I know better.
She doesn’t want me. She can’t want me. Perhaps this is a dream. I could pinch myself and wake up.
I do.
But I don’t.
I don’t wake up.
Now she’s laughing. She saw me do it. I explain to her what I was doing. She understands. She actually understands.

******

If there is a God, I don’t worship him. If there is a greater being out there, I don’t believe in it. I haven’t been to a church since I was 12. I haven’t wanted to go to church since even earlier. This girl can’t be a reward. I haven’t done anything a controller of things like this would want to reward me for doing. And I sure as hell aren’t perfect enough for this girl. She doesn’t seem to care.
The next time I see her she says something, something to make me laugh. I laugh.
The smile fades from my face and I look away. Not for long. Just a second. Just long enough for her to know that that leg of the conversation is over. I look back towards her and flavor explodes from my lips. Coffee and cigarettes. I’ve never tasted anything as wonderful. The twang of her lip gloss helps as well.
I’ve never been with anyone like this before. Not intimately. Not like this. It’s my first kiss. I’m 16 years old, and it’s my first kiss. Thankfully she seems to be leading. I don’t know where to go next. I follow her. Her mouth opens. I open mine. Her tongue enters my mouth. In the past I had always assumed this moment would be awkward. Maybe even disgusting. But I have never before done anything that felt so right, that tasted so wonderful, that gave me this feeling.
I have been with her three hours today. My friend set me up on the first date.
Before last week I had never really even been able to talk to a girl without feeling inadequate, feeling pathetic. But Sam. Sam is different. I finally feel like, for once, perhaps everything is right with the world. Nothing could kill this moment.

******

I follow her to her room. We both lie down on her bed. Our lips break for the first time in what feels like hours, but I know to only be a minute. I wonder if I should have brought something. I wonder if she expects certain things out of me tonight. I wonder if she wants me. if she really wants me. She doesn’t. We just hold each other. It’s a cold December night, and we only need the warmth of each other’s company. But it’s better this way. I don’t need to be inside her. We don’t need to be one. Whenever we’re in each other’s company we are one. That is when I realize what Sam and I share. This is love.